How to Annoy a Cyclonian
by Saffronica612
Summary: The Authoress is back, and her hilariously evil pranks have a new target, by popular demand, the Cyclonians. Mwahahahaha.
1. Intro in a Giant AN

I (yes, me, the Authoress, I'm back and all that fun stuff) stared at the computer screen in wonder.

"_I would PAY to read 'Annoy a Cyclonian.'"_

Interesting, interesting. Well, it was lucky for the readers that this particular authoress likes to annoy her characters simply out of spite, and does not charge fees (plus, there would probably be some major lawsuit, as I don't own Storm Hawks.)

_Please continue with the Cyclonians! :) They must suffer too!_

_YES! u should make a how to annoy a cyclonian! u must! btw LOL that was a freakin awesome chapter!_

As an author, I am used to reviews, but I was absolutely shock to the number and the positive comments in them. This is the part where as an author, I thank all of my reviewers, inform you that I have such low self-esteem about my writing that I need your comments to continue (note the sarcasm…no, but really, I do appreciate reviews, it just gets tiresome having to beg at the beginning and end of every chapter for your opinions).

So this only meant one thing…another trip back to the Atmos, but this time, to Terra Cyclonia.

*Sigh* And right before Final Exams week, too. Mother was going to kill me.

So, packing up my laptop for typing and quill pen because it looked cool, I opened the portal and prepared to teleport to Terra Cyclonia…

I almost felt bad for the Cyclonians, but then again, evil Authoresses have no morals.


	2. Chicken Feather

I crept through the lower tunnels of the Great Cyclonian palace, wondering who in the world I wanted to annoy first. However, the decision was made for me. I ran (well, literally walked) into a familiar looking blonde Talon with a scar down one cheek.

What was his name again?

Oh, yeah, Chicken Feather. That's what Ravess called him at the end of the 'Radarr Love' Episode. Catchy name, although I can't say I envied him for it.

Wait a second, what was he doing here? The only thing down here was the launch strips, and that meant—

"Hey, wait, are you leaving Cyclonia?"

He couldn't leave Cyclonia, because then I couldn't torture him with a mean and evil prank!

He glared at me, then shrugged. "Yeah, I am. Nobody will care. I mean, they don't even know my name."

"I care," I insisted, racking through my memory for what he called himself. "Is it General Scratch-Up Face you prefer, or Commander Scar?"

He just looked down at the floor, sighing. "No one will remember anyways, so what does it matter."

What could I possibly say to cheer him up. Names, names, names. Suddenly, I knew. "You know, it's quite an honor for no one to know your name. Only the highest-ranking Cyclonians have such a privilege." He looked at me blankly. "Like the Dark Ace. Seriously, that is only a title. No one knows his real name; he killed the only people that did, the Storm Hawks. You don't see him complaining about his lack of name; he's proud! Almost to the level of narcissism, proud!"

Chicken Feather was now nodding enthusiastically.

"And Master Cyclonis? Again, just a title. Ever Master of Cyclonia in the long line of Masters is called Master Cyclonis. Some suspect her real name might be Lark, but there is absolutely no evidence. The fact that we don't know her name keeps us interested, keeps us guessing."

He nodded so fast I thought he was a bobble-head, then looked confused again. "So what in the world should I do?"

"Whenever anyone forgets your name, look pleased. Whenever anyone asks your name, say that they're not high-ranked enough to know."

"Even…Ravess…and…M-M-Master Cyclonis?"

"Especially them! It will drive them insane, and they will most certainly remember you!"

He nodded, then literally started skipping off. Smiling, I followed him around the palace.

------------

Chicken Feather's first task happened to be feeding all the prisoners in the dungeons. He was taking the food to one of the cells when the inevitable happened.

"Hey, guard, uh, what's you name, um, what's for dinner tonight?"

"Slop, like usual," Chicken Feather said proudly. "And you don't have high enough security clearance to know my name."

The prisoner just rolled his eyes. "Wow, I don't have enough security clearance to know what's in my dinner, and now you won't even tell me your name. Just wow."

Chicken Feather smirked triumphantly. Somehow, I don't think he understands sarcasm.

----------

Chicken Feather was hurrying from the hanger bay over to mess hall when he ran into Dark Ace, who was sprinting off in the opposite direction, heading on his skimmer for some new mission. Both went sprawling across the floor.

Chicken Feather leapt to his feet immediately, saluting. "Dark Ace, sir, my apologies."

The Dark Ace glared murderously. "What's your name, soldier, so I can report you and have you demoted?"

Chicken Feather's chest swelled with pride. "I'm sorry, sir, but you don't have a high enough rank to know my name." Then, to the Champion of Cyclonia and Commander of all Talons' surprise, Chicken Feather scurried off.

I wished I had a camera to capture the look on Dark Ace's face, but I decided it was not worth blowing my cover. Anyways, there would by plenty of time for pictures when I tortured him with pranks later.

---------

Chicken Feather was in charge of training the new recruits. Although the Talon Academy had been destroyed back in Episode 22, there still were a lot of 12-year-olds who wanted to joint the empire (rumors of that roller coaster) and _someone_ had to train them.

He was giving the customary startup speech. "You are the future of Cyclonia now. You belong to Master Cyclonis. Everything you do, you must do to make her proud."

Most of the children were nodding and looking excited, but one, who had at least a small spark of intelligence in his eyes, just had to ask the question. "Sir, um, what should we call you?"

Chicken Feather looked like he was ready to burst with pride. "I'm sorry, but you aren't high-ranked enough to know my name."

The children all Oohed and Ahhed, impressed so easily.

"Hey, what's your name, ah, Chicken Feather!" Ravess stood at the doorway. "I've come to collect my kid, you know, the one who can play the violin." The smart looking child crept out of the line and across the silent room to stand by her. Ravess smirked. "Oh, and what is this junk about you being too high ranked to tell them your name? Are you just embarrassed?"

All of the children started giggling, and whispering 'Chicken Feather' to each other. The poor commander just blushed.

---------

"Master Cyclonis, I have to report on Terra Nimbus, just like you requested."

The teenage queen was typing on her crystals, and did not even bother to look up. After all, he was just another nameless Talon to her.

Nameless…hm, she wondered.

"Soldier, what is your name?"

Chicken Feather stood his ground. "Um, I'm sorry, you don't have the rank to know my name."

This actually brought a laugh out of the Master, out of the absurdity of the statement. "I don't have the rank to know your name?" Chicken Feather gulped. "Then you don't have the rank to set foot in my palace. Guards, throw him in the Wastelands!"

"Wait!" he burst out. "I didn't mean it! My…my name is…um…"

"Hey, that's Chicken Feather!" One of the guards happened to be a Talon-in-training who experienced Chicken Feather's initiation.

Master Cyclonis chucked nastily. "Well, I can see why you wouldn't have wanted to tell me. Next time, _Chicken Feather_, research legally changing your birth certificate."

Chicken Feather could only nod and blush.


End file.
